he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Everything about him screamed your future.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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