I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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