I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
