Having a random hookup so left but love u
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
