whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
