I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
