Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just cut my nipple shaving
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
