it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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