I will die if light touches me.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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