Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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