"it" just moved
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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