i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
