Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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