You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
