Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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