i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
