Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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