that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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