dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
