i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i barfeds in our rink
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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