New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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