no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
