I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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