Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
