Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
