singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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