Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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