I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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