U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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