just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
