Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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