When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
