My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
