Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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