she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
