oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
