What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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