I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
