she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Your mouth is God's brothel.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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