I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I died a long time ago.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
