ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
