who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
