I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
