Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
