he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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