She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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