idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Are we in a gay sports bar?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
