Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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