Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
