She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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