First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
