kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
