I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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