Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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