If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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