You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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