u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
