I wish I could punch you in the face.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
