? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
