Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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