Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it glows. i had to have it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
