mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
