my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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