What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize