Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
