meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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