i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
